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If you follow my Instagram Stories (also referred to as compete-and-utter-nonsense) then you know I recently grew a pumpkin plant that rival's Jack's giant beanstalk. Well, it didn't quite reach the sky, but it did coil itself around every other living thing in my front yard and crept its way towards our porch door. Because it wanted to come inside. And live with us. And eat my children.
No, no, I kid...this was not a scary pumpkin plant! It was my friend! Every morning I would sit beside it with a cup of coffee, and we would chat. Or, I would chat, and it would listen. The chats led to songs, which led to me deciding I should share my morning ritual with the Internet World. Was that a good decision? Hahahahaha. Hahaha. I mean, what even is a good decision, am I right?
Anyway. Then one day I cooked my plant and murdered it, The End!
FINE. I'll tell you more than that. Over time, the plant bloomed blossoms. Is that a sentence? But there were no pumpkins. I turned to the Internet World once more, and asked them where my pumpkins were. 7913 answers later, I came to the conclusion that my blossoms were NOT, in fact, going to produce pumpkins for me this year. I confirmed this with a professional, and thhheeennnn I cooked my plant and murdered it. The End Again!
For those curious about the method I chose to make my stuffed, fried squash blossoms...
I followed this recipe. They were delicious, but next time I might try a tempura batter instead of using bread crumbs. See below for more things I learned along the way... and thank you for joining me on my pumpkin plant journey!
1. If you fry a cheese-stuffed shoe it will probably taste good.
2. You can have a black thumb and still grow a pumpkin plant.
3. All of my Instagram followers are pumpkin experts.
4. Regina Falange lives on.
5. My neighbors don't mind me singing to nature.
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